Do you know the rules of the “I have another offer” game?

It goes like this…

You: I want and deserve a raise, but the only way to get it is to get another offer, take it to my boss and see what they’ll do to keep me.

 Ideally, your boss says: We don’t want to lose you. Of course! We’ll match that offer!

 But your boss is thinking: Couldn’t we have talked about this before the offer? Does she really want to stay or is this just about the money? When is she going to play this game again?

 I never played the “I have another offer” game.

And it cost me financially.

Those who interviewed elsewhere got bigger raises than I did.

But if you truly don’t want the offer and want to stay, there’s a big risk, right? A risk that your current employer says, “Congratulations, good luck!” AKA: Don’t let the door hit you on the way out!

Even when the gambit works, managers often...

Do you love to plan?

Or, like me, do you feel a little claustrophobic when you have too many things on your calendar?

Do you feel like a failure when too many checklists go unchecked? 

Does it feel like your plans are too big and overwhelming?

Or are you just eking out daily tasks without the big picture in mind?

You are not alone! I've been in every single one of these places.

Which is why Nancy and I spent much of January in planning mode.

For the first time in a really long time, I feel like I've created a plan for my own work and my own life that I'll actually achieve.

3 reasons why this plan feels doable:

1. Two new tools - This planner by Ink+Volt. With sections for weekly goals, reflection & celebration and writing prompts like: "Done is better than perfect. If you never finish, your work never sees the light of day. What can you push ahead on this week? Where is "good enough" better than perfection?", this is not your ordinary planner. Doing these exercises at...

Despite a long road trip, a few too many mornings full of biscuits and gravy, and a pinched-nerve inducing guest bed, I found some inspiration over the Holidays.

If you're looking for something inspiring to read, make or listen to this week...

Like, right now, read: Educated by Tara Westover.

Educated is the memoir of a girl raised by Mormon survivalists in the mountains of Idaho. With no formal education, she taught herself into college at BYU. A professor helped her into a study abroad program at Cambridge, while another helped her actually get into Cambridge. She then went on to earn her PhD in History at Harvard.
This searching, beautiful book resonated so clearly with me. Here are the themes still swirling in my brain…
 
The struggle to find your own identity. How do you untangle yourself from your family’s expectations? How do you justify becoming who you want to be when it hurts them? Or when it goes against their beliefs? What are your beliefs?
 
...

Do you have too many internal meetings?

Do you leave most meetings thinking:

"Damn, that's an hour of my life I'll never get back."

Are your meetings mostly reporting out on what you did and what you'll do next?

You're not alone!

Nancy and I just spoke with hundreds of fundraisers at the CASE V conference in Chicago who are overwhelmed with too many unproductive meetings.

How can you stop the meeting madness?

Here are a few tips that aren't always easy, but can truly make change for you and your team:

• Before accepting ANY meeting, ask the organizer: AM I MISSION-CRITICAL?

Most meeting invites are habit: he always comes to these meetings, so I should invite him...Other meeting invites are, believe it or not, just a courtesy: if I don't invite him, he may feel left out. Don't let yourself fall into these traps! By asking if you're mission-critical to the meeting, you'll know why and how you can add value.

• Say no to 60 minutes. Hour-long meetings are another weird work habit....

Behold the remarkable (smart, driven, open-hearted) women of UPLIFT.

Thank you, ladies, for two days of candid conversation, thinking big about work and life, and powerful planning. We will never forget it!

One comment we treasure, from the fabulous Kim Schmelz:

I loved that the whole conference had dialogue...I didn’t drift off to my own space once!

Thanks, Kim!

Here’s what UPLIFT proved:

1. You are hungry for dialogue – real conversations, often about tough stuff without easy answers.
2. You learn as much from each other – regardless of position or “experience” – as from “experts,” so diverse groups matter.
3. We are (much) better together – healthy teams, tribes, troupes achieve more and have a lot more fun.

It has never mattered more to find your voice and use it, bravely and authentically, in service of big visions. The ladies of UPLIFT made an amazing start and we can't wait to hear what every single one of them do next.

In...

It had been a long, long time since I tried something really, truly new that scared me.

It was not pretty and it was not easy.

It was exhilarating, terrifying, kinda humiliating, and really inspiring.

This spring break, I learned how to SURF in Costa Rica!!

On Day 3, when I was finally standing up more than falling, I had a revelation (a few, actually):

When you try something totally new – and hard to do – you start with a lot of instructions. You tell yourself the 1, 2, 3, 4 in your head. Chest up, jump up, feet parallel, look UP, butt DOWN, arm up, etc.

Pretty soon, you realize that your brain and/or your body just can’t follow all those instructions. They basically have to happen all at once. You can’t remember and recite them, you just have to DO.

Soon after that, you realize that instead of trying to control the whole thing (because you really, really CAN’T), you’re going to have to surrender and trust your brain/body to start getting it...

I struck a nerve.

Over the last week, we've been sharing tips & tools to reclaim your time and prevent burnout.

I've gotten some pushback, including this short and sweet email:

"No issue from me.  I CAN HANDLE IT!!  MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY."

Who knew time management could be so controversial?

Others have sent notes admitting their 24-7 work habits, but chalk it up to a need to be challenged, the excitement of being busy and a deep love for their work.

This feedback made me wonder: Do we see work/life balance as weakness? (said in my best Sarah Jessica Parker narration)

The truth: I've done my fair share of eye-rolling about work/life balance.

The phrase feels cliche, overused and almost impossible to achieve.

Then, I started this business. Work became life - in great ways (like typing this in comfy pants & slippers) and in mind-breaking, pain-inducing, panic-producing ways (how will I make money today?!).

One of the amazing parts of this business is talking with...

The first month of 2019 is almost over.

Have you taken a breath?

With so much focus on forward movement - the next donor meeting, the next gift, the next campaign - we hereby give you permission to reflect.

Think of one moment of pure, bubbly, insanely happy joy from 2018.

Go on...

Do it right now...

How can you make more of this joy in 2019 and fill it with all of your favorite things?

If you need some inspiration, check out our latest podcast. We review our very favorite books, movies, places, wine, food, advice, realizations and generous moments from 2018.

Here are a few to get you started:

We're obsessed with Dear Madam President by Jennifer Palmieri. This letter to our first woman president spotlights the way we think about powerful women, challenges us to embrace emotions (yes, even at work) and reminds us to trust our gut.

P.S. Jennifer is our keynote speaker for UPLIFT! If you're a woman in development, register today!

One of my favorite places on earth is the Raggeds...